Russian woman – choosing the right one for you

11

Choosing the right Russian woman

Some Western men who set out to find a Russian woman for marriage are not being very realistic when they start contacting girls who are much younger and have the looks that are way out of a guy’s league.  I have already talked about age disparity in the previous blog, but picking a “believable” Russian woman match for yourself in regards to appearance is also very important. Generally it doesn’t make sense when a bolding, 70 lbs. overweight, out of shape 50 or 60 year old guy is seeing with a gorgeous, model-like 22 year old girl on his arm. Sure, anything is possible and there will always be exceptions to the rule, and if you have the fame and fortune of some one like Woody Allen you may have a beautiful young girl fall in love with your persona. However most of us have to be a bit more realistic in our expectations and as a rule choosing a more believable woman (whether it is a Russian woman or not) will yield much better results in regards to both finding and maintaining a relationship with a Russian woman.

You must forget the old “All Russian women want to get out of their country and come to America” way of thinking. No one wants to get out of Russia any longer and you are not doing any Russian woman a favor by bringing her to the USA, Canada or another Western country. In fact having to relocate to another country to be with you is usually a negative for a Russian woman. Imagine how tough it is for a Russian woman to come to your country! She has to leave her family and friends, quit her career, leave her entire support system behind and come to a completely unfamiliar place where they speak a different language, the  culture is different and where she doesn’t know any one. She will have to completely rely and depend on her man for everything in the beginning. This wouldn’t be easy for any woman or man.

Think about this in real life terms. When you are looking at a photo of a Russian woman, ask yourself: “Would a local woman who looks like this go out with me and possibly marry me?” If the answer is “No way!” what makes you think that a Russian woman would?

Dating a beautiful Russian woman

There is a bit of a good news!

Drunk Russian men

Drunk Russian men

While in the West (N. America, Western Europe) we are experiencing a deficit of good looking, slim, single, feminine (not feminist), marriage minded, family oriented women the situation is a 180 degrees in reverse in the countries of the former Soviet Union (Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova, etc.). They are experiencing a huge deficit of single, decent, non-drinking, not abusive, marriage minded, family oriented men. There is a large number of Russian women who have absolutely no chance of ever getting married and having a family of their own unless they significantly lower their standards…

Unlike Western women, Russian women are not spoiled by the availability of many single, reasonably attractive, marriage minded men around, so they don’t set their standards as high as the women in the Western countries, and if they do find a good guy that they like they generally tend to hold on to him, unlike Western women who in many cases like to continue looking around, “exploring other options” and basically looking for “A better deal”.

This disparity in the ratio between sexes makes it relatively easy for Western men to find much better quality women in Russia, Ukraine, Belarus and other FSU countries than they could find locally, where they live. But keeping it realistic and not trying to marry a Russian woman who is way out of your league is strongly advised.

The rule of thumb that I suggest to my clients is to not go more than a couple of steps above of the women they normally date at home. For instance if you date women who are 4 and 5 (on the scale of 1 to 10) you can easily find a wonderful Russian woman who is a 6 or a 7. Looking for a 9 or a 10 wouldn’t be very realistic.  If you are dating 6s and 7s at home you can easily find 8s and 9s in Russia who will be happy to date and marry you later.

Too many Western men who are quite average in looks and everything else think that somehow they have this imaginary “special value” because he can provide a Russian woman the way to citizenship in his country. This way of thinking is flawed and dangerous, because you just might get what you wish for – a rare woman who for some reason is interested in obtaining citizenship in your country and will use you as a stepping stone.

 

 

  1. Robert Clark
    Robert Clark03-05-2012

    What is the point oif putting these women on facebook if they do not want to come to the U.S. for dating or possible marriage? Me I’m not over weight and have a lot of life left to live. The purpose to marriage is to find a mate that has the same interest or has a mutual need in life other than a wallet. I have worked in the oil industry, music industry, car industry, and been a social studies school teacher in the American high School. Yes Russia is a growing capitalistic country with lots to offer other than world conquest or spreading the communist idealogy. I seek a realtionship with a Russian woman to learn and grow. To make wealth for a family and to gain better ties so the assholes in the past don”t blow the world up. If these pretty women can’t hear the men fro the U.S.A. than don”t place thier faces on the internet to get hurt or to be used for a scam. Your country still has problems with third world countries, Muslam, China, India, Iran, Europe, etc. and you still have a lot to learn about the U.S. Free trade and a postive relationship with Russia is what I seek. Nobody wants human trafficing or to bring someone into a bad situation. The Russian mob has left a bad taste in America mouth but tha can be over ocme by postive relations and solid marriages in a postive business climate. But take care and lot of love to you and the women of Russia!

    • Tony
      Tony10-18-2012

      There is a good reason those 2 guys are drunken bums living on a doorstep *hint hint * it might be that their women drove them to that state with their constant nagging lol

  2. Ed
    Ed03-05-2012

    Hi Robert, thank you for your post. I will try to respond to your questions one at a time.

    1. “What is the point oif putting these women on facebook if they do not want to come to the U.S. for dating or possible marriage?”

    There are two reasons why: A) They are not looking to get out of Russia and come to the US. BUT, if they meet a good, marriage minded man from the US whom they find attractive, interesting and can invision having a family with, they will come to the US to be with him. And they will do it for the right reason – to be with the man they love (and not for a Green card). In my opinion most women who are intentionally looking for a foreign man have ulterior motives and are looking to relocate. If the guy just happens to satisfy their needs they might stay with him but if a “better deal” comes along they are history… We help our clients find Russian women who are looking for A good man no matter what country he comes from.

    B) to demonstrate the beauty of Russian women and that many beautiful, even stunning looking women are single and looking, and can be found and contacted directly on Russian social networking sites.
    ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

    2. You wrote: “If these pretty women can’t hear the men fro the U.S.A. than don”t place thier faces on the internet to get hurt or to be used for a scam”

    A) You are mistaken. They CAN hear men from the USA or any other country. All you have to do is create a profile on a local Russian dating site where they are advertising and say “hello, would you like to chat?” or something like that to them. Some will respond others won’t but that’s life.
    B) Their photos are already on the internet, on the dating sites where they have personals ads, where any one with the internet connection can see them. So us “placing their faces on the internet” is a moot point. If a scammer wants to use a photo of a pretty Russian woman they just go on Russian social networking sites where there are millions of single women advertising and copy from there. No need to seek out our facebook page for that.

    If you are seriously looking for a good Russian woman you might want to take a closer look at what we do and really try to understand our system and why it is far more superior to any other method of searching for a Russian woman.

  3. Matt
    Matt01-25-2013

    Ed,

    when those Russian women come to the US, aren’t they going to be looking to upgrade, as you suggested american women are prone to do? (which I agree with)

    Thank you

    Matt

    • Ed
      Ed01-25-2013

      Hi Matt,
      IMO people are people everywhere in the world. And I don’t think that Russian women are extremely different from American women. Surely there are some cultural differences and on average they are slimmer and prettier but just like anywhere else in the world some are honest and genuine while others are users and liars. The trick is to figure out what a woman is about and find a good, honest genuine woman who will want to be with you for the right reasons. Does this make sense?

  4. Roger
    Roger01-27-2013

    Yes, this is always an interesting discussion. Especially with people who haven’t been involved with you FB page. I do agree with most of what you say and the advise you give. Age is important as our life goals and styles change significantly with the different age groups, and the obvious life expectancy. All of us men do like beautiful young women and fave our fantasies, but need to keep it there and be realistic when choosing a mate. The right one will give all you ever need. I do disagree with the “out of your class” statement in the context that if a man will keep himself reasonably fit and healthy, there is no reason not to contact that very beautiful woman. I learned early on in my life that the most beautiful women were very often available. The problem us men have is that we are intimidated with such beauty. Think that she has a boyfriend and I’m not good enough. Also, just afraid of being told “No.” So, many men just reduce their expectations and only ask the average or less looking women out. Surprise! They most often have boyfriends more so than the really beautiful women. Once I got over the fear of being told “no” I always asked the most beautiful women out. Very often it resulted in some nice relationships. Realistically, guys, it has to do with how you keep your self fit and healthy, your personality, how you approach the potential relationship. Then remember, its not the looks of the person that makes the relationship work. In the end, select your mate that bests suits you, your life, personality, goals, style, and heart. Then you will find your 10, all the others are 9 or below.

  5. greg
    greg04-29-2013

    Hi, ive been searching for a mate for a while.
    But i seem to be getting scammed. I haven’t given money to any yet, but who is real.?
    And how do you find out if she’s real.? Im very gun shy. Im talking to one that has a ring on her right hand ring finger, it looks very fancy, do you think she’s married?
    I like her alot because she answers any and all of my questions, and she hasn’t professed undying love for me.
    But i do get alot of pics from her, and she’s a 9 or ten. Im used to dating 6 or 7s.
    Who’s real, and who’s memorex?
    GregR.

    • Ed
      Ed04-29-2013

      Hi Greg,
      This question is asked quite often. Big problem is that many Western men still are under impression that FSU women (women from former Soviet Union) are trying to “get out” or “escape” their country. Nothing could be further from the truth and basing your approach to search for a Russian wife or a Russian woman will most likely lead you to failure. Why would Russian women want to leave their family, career, friends, their whole support system and the culture they love behind??? In the 90s when things were really bad in Ukraine, Russia, and other FSU countries, yes, that was the case and some gorgeous young, hot Russian women would even marry ugly, old, fat men just to get out, hence the “mail order bride” business was born.
      Now things have changed a lot since the nineties. One can live comfortably in the FSU so the MOB (mail order bride) business is pretty much dead. Most Russian bride agencies survive by scamming Western men who don’t do their home work.

      I help my clients find women on local Russian dating and social networking sites that are in Russian language and are not aimed at Western men. There are very few scammers on these site and they are usually African scammers who don’t speak any Russian, so they are very easy to figure out. There are millions of single Russian women there sincerelly looking for a relationship. Some of those women will be open to getting to know a foreign man. My job is not to find out if they are “real” because they normally are. My job is to help my clients to find a few women who woulod be interested in getting to know them better and help them communicate with no language barrier. Communication is the key and being able to communicate with a Russian woman without being hindered by the language and cultural barrier is extremely important.

      When we travel to Russia, Ukraine, Belarus or Moldova to meet the women I try to chat with them in Russian when possible and this communication in their native language gives me great insight into their background, intelligence, sense of humor, etc. Also I may sense that there are psychological or even psychiatric issues with a woman and I will advise my client of my feelings. I’m not a licensed psychiatrist or psychologist, but as a native Russian speaker and a man who has had plenty of experience with women I nirmally sense that something is off, something isn’t right. I don’t need to diagnose a woman just to warn my client of a potential problem. Trust me, figuring out if a woman is “real” should be the last of your worries. Marrying a woman with BPD or Bipolar can make loosing $10 or $20K on scam seem like nothing.

      I can’t tell you Whether the woman you are chatting with now is real or not, I would need a lot more info, go through your letters with her and look at the photos. Normally I can tell by going through that info because women who scam don’t write the same way as normal Russian women write.
      Hope this helps,
      Ed

  6. Dan
    Dan12-30-2014

    I have to say that my personal experience with a Russian woman who has a child has not been a good one. She came to the states due to having her mother here. We met a year ago and she had to go back to Russia. She returned almost 6 mo ago and we began spending as much time as we possibly could together. It was very weird that she didn’t want her 2 yr old son to be around us when we were together. She had her mother watching him 99% of the time we were together. I continued to say that we needed to spend time with him as well since he would also be my son once we got married. I am a single father myself. I have 2 of my children living with me, and she began having an issue with my children being in the home. I explained to her that they were part of the package in being with me. I thought we got past this issue, and we were married about a month ago. 3 days after we got married she started complaining about everything my children did, but wanted me to treat her son with respect and treat him as my own son. I have no problems treating him as my son. i completely understood that he was her son and accepted him as my own.
    She packed up and moved out 2 weeks after we were married saying she wanted a divorce. After a few days, she comes to me saying that she is going back to Russia to allow me to have the time to figure out what to do with my kids. She is now wanting me to pay and do all the paperwork to bring her back after I figure out what to do with my boys instead of doing a simple change of status to allow her to stay here and us be together. I honestly don’t get it. How can someone just expect their spouse to push their kids away, be willing to just pack up and leave over it, yet want that person to treat their own son as his own? Something seems very off about this behavior and thought process. It doesn’t remind me of a loving mother who has actually accepted their husband and his life before getting married. Yet, her own mother is more important than me. She communicates with her 10x more than she does me, I am always being pushed aside for mom and spending time with her, and I am not at all a priority to her when it comes to a choice between me and her mother. Yet, me wanting to have my boys in my home seems to be an issue. She won’t even commit to our marriage or the future of our marriage until I agree that she can go back to Russia to do the paperwork process while I also make arrangements to get rid of my boys. She won’t even talk about her moving back into our home and attempting to make things work together for the betterment of our family and teaching the children what we expect as a new family living together. Can anyone help???

    • Ed
      Ed12-30-2014

      Dan, normally I would say that the problem is in the language and cultural gap. But not in this case. She told you how she felt about your kids living with you before you married. If that wasn’t a huge red flag I don’t know what else would be. That was your cue to run, not walk away! And now you are even considering moving your kids out to make her happy??? OMG man, I would kick a woman like that out in a second if I heard talk like that! I really don’t get this… you know that it is wrong for a woman to expect you to get rid of your kids, yet you accept this behavior on her part. IMO this is a no win situation. Good luck with everything and happy New Year!
      Ed

  1. Few Good Men Left | al fin next level02-01-15

Leave a Reply